No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
Grief is a rather tricky feeling. It is uncontrollable. Neither you can hide from it, nor it is likely to go unnoticed. It comes and goes. It has been almost six years and it is not getting easier.
Grief is, indeed, a tricky feeling. You can mask it as well as you want to, pretend it isn’t there, but very much like light in the darkness, it will always win; overcome the thought that you want to forget it exists.
I love it and hate it. It is a careful reminder of the one you love so deeply, but have lost. I feel robbed, but I bet she felt even more. It is undeniably unfair.
Do I think God took her away? Well, if so, it is extremely selfish of Him and I have every right to be upset. So let me be. Let grief come. Until I can have a word with this God, I’ll gladly deal with it, to the best of my abilities.